So. I enjoy wine. I'm no connoisseur, but I usually can tell when something's cheap and when it's not. And there's no way in hell the just-announced Fifty Shades of Grey wine won't taste cheap — the varieties are called Red Satin and White Silk, for Pete's sake!
If the tasting notes don't entice you to buy — "floral aromatics of lychee, honey and pear"; "aged in a combination of new and seasoned French oak barrels" — maybe the words of "acclaimed novelist" E. L. James will:
The taste of Fifty Shades of Grey can be yours for just $17.99 a bottle and can be purchased here.