Booklicious: Getting Personal with the LRB

April 19, 2010


The London Review of Books is Britain's most esteemed literary magazine. Published fortnightly, it features essays, reviews and the most outrageous personal ads ever set in type. The following is a selection from the latest issue. 

*Reply to me or I will haunt your dreams. Publicist F, 41.
box no: 08/05  

*That tingle down your spine is about to be tingled! Sexy chiropractor (M, 54). My name is synonymous with posture support.
box no: 08/02  

*I had a choice: run a personal ad in this crappy magazine or save the bones from my daily pork chop and build a mate from the ground up. Obviously, I chose the crappy magazine. But if I don’t get a reply soon from someone ‘good looking’ and ‘eager to please’ like the guy on the phone told me, I’m back to putting pork chop bones in my dresser’s bottom drawer. Man, 56. Bolton.
box no: 08/10 

*I abandon my heart on your doorstep with little more than this note. Can you take me in and love me? My reputation for nimble salsa dancing, fantastic risottos and charming post-dinner conversation is well-earned, but the conviction for manslaughter in 1995 was definitely a stitch-up. F, 51.
box no: 08/08

*I paid a lot of money for this ad. I worked hard writing it. Now I intend to get out there and show the world I mean business. F, 36. Hounslow.
box no: 08/04 

*Never, ever play me at chess. I lie, cheat, and once forced my rook into the eye of an opponent. Yet, as a lover, I am quite exquisite. Man, 49.
box no: 08/01   

*This advert provides as much evidence as you will need of my unwavering enthusiasm for botany. Botanist (M, 61).
box no: 08/03  

*After my last boyfriend dumped me I jumped on YouTube to videoblog my feelings while they were still fresh in my heart. It got played 6 times and attracted one comment, from ‘Darth81’. If you are Darth81, please write to F, 27.
box no: 08/06  


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